The Future President of Romania

„I will be the future president of Romania.” This is what Sebastian Burduja (a young Romanian politician) has been telling his classmates in the US since 15 years ago. Some raised their eyebrows. They saw the strange spark in his fixed gaze but didn’t quite understand what the young Romanian student was basing his confident prediction on when he declared so assuredly that he would one day lead his small Eastern European country. Burduja knew, however, from his father. And his father, the influential Marinel Burduja (a powerful figure in Romanian politics and business), knew from his discreet colleagues and friends. They were all preparing for the day they would pass the baton to their children. They knew only one of them would be president. Well, Burduja was told repeatedly that he would be the one until he began to believe in his exceptional destiny.

Everything went according to plan. The future president, however, stumbled upon a small detail, unforeseen by the sages who saw his star rising: nobody votes for Burduja. He even created a little youth party, to which all the good people in the city opened their doors wide. Only the voters didn’t quite understand who they were dealing with and slammed the door in his face. He didn’t manage to gather enough signatures to participate in the elections with his gifted toy. So, his daddy, together with his discreet godfathers, planted him in the PNL (National Liberal Party), straight at the top of the party, and gave him a new toy: the leadership of the Bucharest branch.

Since his successful infiltration into the PNL, the meteoric career of young Burduja has always relied on appointed positions. Besides his father’s friends, nobody voted for him. He remained, however, the chosen one of the others. Destiny has smiled upon him from a very young age, as foretold. Even if he doesn’t win votes, at a little over 30 years old, he holds important government positions, as state secretary and twice as a minister.

The future president knows, however, that it will be harder to lead a country if nobody actually votes for him. Therefore, he tries his luck at the mayoralty of the Capital, where the candidate makes a fool of himself. Despite all the party’s efforts, the hundreds of thousands of euros pumped into TV stations and foreign consultants, and all the polls announcing him at dizzying scores, shoulder to shoulder with Nicușor Dan (the incumbent mayor of Bucharest), despite his turquoise shirt, something goes wrong again. Burduja ranks fourth, 40 percentage points behind the winner. With 7.84%, the candidate carried by the arms of destiny doesn’t even convince his own party to vote for him. The PNL obtains 12.58% in Bucharest. What went wrong this time?

Sebastian Burduja parades on prime-time TV shows like a true victor with all the explanations at hand: a liberal district mayor won in Bucharest with the highest score, therefore he achieved his objective. Not even the fact that his own party didn’t vote for him discourages him. Burduja is convinced that, again, it’s not his fault. He only regrets that his liberals fell into the trap of the useful vote and hastily stamped Nicușor Dan out of fear of ending up with Gabriela Firea (former mayor of Bucharest) or, worse, Piedone (a controversial political figure). In other words, his moment has not yet come. The stars aligned poorly.

Resignation is out of the question, as the whole party says it was a heroic, sacrificial candidacy. They should even thank him, as should Nicușor Dan, because everything he criticized during the campaign was fixed the next day. At this point, we can’t help but notice again the strange sparkle in his fixed gaze as he spouts all the nonsense above. The self-assurance with which Sebastian Burduja announced in an interview for G4Media.ro that he was less than one percentage point behind Nicușor Dan, stressing that this is what a poll conducted by foreign consultants showed, is the same as 15 years ago.

Burduja knows that no matter what foolishness he says or does, nothing bad can happen to him. He is their chosen one and daddy’s boy. It was shown to him that he will be the future president of Romania, and this will have to happen just as all the other things have happened. Even if nobody votes for him now, who knows, maybe the day will come when he will be placed by others’ hands in the highest office of the Romanian state. With his gaze fixed somewhere in the future, Burduja’s eyes reflect his own shining star, even if today it barely flickers.

Romania tolerates many things: criminals, thieves, turncoats, ignoramuses, buffoons, impostors, and tambourine players. But there is something to which voters are instantly allergic—a hidden evil that has ruined their hopes for the past 30 years and wrecked their lives before. In their stubbornness, they sometimes inexplicably refuse to vote for the children of their masters to rule over their own children.